One of the elderly residents of Ruritania's western neighbour celebrates her ninetieth birthday today. Despite being described as "no human being" by a Mr J. Rotten in 1977, the elderly lady has consistently confounded observers by not behaving as a vampire. The old lady remains famous for walking slowly in direct sunlike and carrying a handbag, unlike noted Ruritanian vampires such as Leonid Brezhnev.
The old lady has so many names and titles, it is difficult for uneducated Ruritanians to understand whether any of them are actually hers or whether they have been made up.
God save the mad parade!
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